Moving to a New Blog

I would like to thank any of you who read this for having followed me thus far on my journey. I hope that I have provided you with some form or insight, inspiration, hope or even just entertainment.

I will continue my blogging journey, however have a new blog address for you to follow: www.melissadrover.wordpress.com. Please visit it to find my newest posts moving forward. Also don't forget to subscribe to getting emails with new updates on the new blog (right side bar at www.melissadrover.wordpress.com)!

Keep Dreaming,
M

A Dr. Seuss Outlook on LIFE!

Dr. Seuss, we all know of him. Some of us grew up on his books, while others raised children & grand children on his books. And personally, I will keep that going by imparting Dr. Seuss wisdoms on our child in the coming months.


Dr. Seuss wrote on vision, enthusiam, persistance, acceptance and being an individual. Yes he rhyms and its sounds so fun as we read, but I think there's more to it. My husband and I were having a chat about poetry the last couple nights; neither of us are poets nor do we read poetry but it came up somehow. Matt had been listening to Oliver DeMille who was teaching on the thinking you acquire through poetry. The example Matt gave me from Oliver DeMille. DeMille explained that we are taught to think literally today, not poetically. I know this is true for myself. That we don't look deeper for any other meaning besides literal that the author may be trying to portray in his/her writing.

So then I got to thinking (attempting this new poetic thinking) and realized Dr. Seuss is a perfect example everyone can relate to. And "tada", a new blog post is born!

Oh! The Places You'll Go is one of my favourites. Its so motivating, encouraging, but still "realistic" enough for the average person who has yet to acquire the ability to have a big vision and strong belief. If you read this entire story you will see where the importance of persistence comes in. It is very encouraging, but does give you the warnings of things you will run into; teaching that persistence will get you through these things and that you ARE the person it takes to make it happen.

Congratulations!
Today is your day.
You're off to Great Places!
You're off and away!

You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself any direction you choose.
You're on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the guy who'll decide where to go.

Yes, its a children's story, which is why I believe its overlooked for its true value. Children are fortunate to have the ability to dream, believe and envision a bright future. But maybe, Dr. Seuss knew that YOU and I - the parent/adult-reading to that child needed encouragement, vision and belief even more than that developing child. Are you maximizing this opportunity?!

"Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened." - Dr. Seuss

Here Dr. Seuss is teaching us to not get stuck in the past. Be positive and enthusiastic. Simple but very meaningful and valuable when put to good practice!

"The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you'll go."- Dr. Seuss, I Can Read With My Eyes Shut!

Continuous learning is an important part of a successful life. Reading stretches our minds - and much like an elastic band it will then not go back to its previous form; meaning success will happen. The moment we stop learning is the moment we begin to age at a rapid pace! I don't know about you, but I will continue to read and stay young and alive in my heart & soul. A perfect real-life example of this in my life is my great-grandmother Jessie MacKinnon. She passed away in 2008 at the age of 94, of old age I should add. She was always reading, doing puzzles and stimulating her mind - which I believe 100% is the reason she lived a long, happy and fulfilled life.

"A person's a person, no matter how small."- Dr. Seuss, Horton Hears a Who!

This is the acceptance I spoke of. Sure, in the book Dr. Seuss literally means that the Whos in the little Whoville are people too. But invoke your poetic thinking as Oliver Demille describes and you will get the true meaning of this simple message from Dr. Seuss. Acceptance is important in today's society, everyone is entitled to their own beliefs, way of living and thinking. Who are we to judge people? Accept people where they are at in their life, you have no idea what is going on behind closed doors. As Amanda Marshall sings "Everybody's got a story that would break your heart!"

"Only you can control your future." - Dr. Seuss

You are in control of you life, take responsibility for it. As John Wooden writes: Never whine, Never Complain, Never makes excuses. To be successful (up to your own personal definition) you may never pass the buck. "The buck stops here" should be a sign you have posted on your desk. Passing blame is passing responsibility and ownership for your life and your future to someone else. Think about it next time you want to place blame - do you REALLY want THAT person responsibile for your future and your success?? No thank you!

And finally...

"Being crazy isn't enough." - Dr. Seuss

"Crazy" to the child you are reading to is being silly, funny and just wacked right out there in left field. Children find this funny and probably don't think much more of it. But I believe Dr. Seuss has a deeper meaning and message behind this small, silly and much overlooked quote. By "being crazy" what if he means just being different, being an individual. Thinking for yourself; perhaps even not following that herd of sheep (today's society) to the edge of the cliff (mediocrity). Instead "swim upstream." "If being crazy means living a life as if it matters, then I don't care if we are completely insane." - Unknown

Sure, you will be different; but ultimately what is your goal in life? To get to the "finish line" safely with time wasted infront of the TV, instead of out making a difference in someone's life? With time spent stuck inside for 8-10+ hours of the day at work, instead of investing that time in your family? I guess it comes down to asking yourself some hard questions. What if you knew you had two more weeks to live? Is/has your life panned out so far how you wanted/had hoped it would? No? Well are you willing to step up NOW and start making that right? There is nothing wrong with going against the grain, being average only gets you average results, and frankly, I don't know about you, but AVERAGE just isn't enough for this girl!

Again I repeat...

"Only you can control your future." - Dr. Seuss

Keep Dreaming,
M

LIFE Relationships - A Journey of Love, Support & Belief

"Friendship is a single soul dwelling in two bodies." - Aristotle

Recently I have been thinking a lot about the relationships and friendships in my life. Which I decided would be a suiting blog entry for you all to share in. I have a wide variety of friendships, as anyone does - my husband being my very best friend. Then there are those few friendships I have had for a long time - some more meaningful than others. Then the newly founded friendships over the past couple years - which ironically have become more meaningful; due in part I believe to knowledge and intentions. Then there are family friendships/relationships, which I have learned a lot about recently, as well - some are there with belief and support in everything you do, while others see it fit to "bad mouth" their own family. This is not to insult any of my long-time friends, any of my family or anything of the sort; regardless of where someone is at on their journey in relationships I have chosen to love an accept them - even if the feeling isn't mutual. This is simply an entry that maybe can help YOU with your current relationships and friendships, by learning through my experiences thus far.

"Intellectual growth should commence at birth and cease only at death." - Albert Einstein

First, the most important relationship in my life - my best friend, husband and soon-to-be new daddy to our baby, Matt. We have been married for just over two years now. We started out truly knowing nothing about marriage or maintaining a household together; to today where our marriage and relationship is something we both cherish deeply and grow in everyday. Don't get me wrong, we are far from perfect, but happiness is achieved when you are in pursuit! This has only been possible through both of us being willing to learn and grow together. We have both had to be there as the other fails and falls, affecting us both, to pick each other back up, dust off our butts, join hands and take the next step forward together. A few books that have helped me in understanding how to have a happy healthy relationship are: 5 Love Languages, Personality Plus and 5 Languages of Apology, among many, many others. I strongly recommend you read these books. They have a wealth of knowledge to offer in the area of relationships (and not just marriage, but friends and family relationships too!).

"If you step on a slug, you don't have a stronger slug, you have a mess on your shoe!"

This paraphrased quote has stuck in my head for the past two years and I strive to apply this in my marriage and relationships daily. Sure, it can be the easy way out to "step on" your spouse, friend, or parent/sibling because of something they have done that negatively affects you as well; but is this the kind of support you need when you make a bad decision? No. When you mess up you know what you've done, and you know it affects your loved ones too. The best thing you can do is apologize for it and strive to do better next time, right? If you are being stepped on do you really feel like they "deserve" an apology? No. Therefore you should strive not to "step on"  them when they mess up, too. What's that old saying... "An eye for an eye...."

The best things that these books have taught me are the differences we see in our spouses, friends or family in comparison to ourselves are normal. These books have helped me to understand why they act and react the way they do, which for the longest time before gaining this insight was nothing but frustrating to me. Not only do these books answer why they act this way, but they also provide insight into how you learn to deal and cater to the other person most effectively.

I have some friendships that are just "there." I call these people my friends, but don't necessarily have or work on having a relationship with them. Some I even feel like its a one-way street, you know what I mean if you have someone who just seems to pop in when they are in need of something; be it support, guidance, or an ear/shoulder. This is all well and good if they are a true friend who supports and believes in you; but its when you catch them "chittering" behind your back to others that you begin to question the relationships true value to you. Then I have friendships, some of them ladies I have met in the past two years; who would do anything for me. They will stand up for me and some would perhaps even take a bullet. Perhaps you have relationships like both of these kinds. What I have learned is that we cannot waste our time with and for people who are not willing to love, support and believe in us. There are enough critics we will face in this world without fostering a "friendship" with one. "Love 'em where they're at" and move on.

Families have a funny dynamic, or so I've learned. Parents usually are always very loving, supporting and belief-filled in their children - we are blessed this way. Most siblings offer the same level of love, support and belief as well. Calvin, my younger brother, has always been a prime example of a sibling filled with belief. On his belief alone I am sure I could conquer the world; he has the same belief in Matt; another blessing we experience. I have found it hard over the years when family members question things I pursue. Perhaps you have had the same experiences. Everyone will say they have your best interest at heart, and I am sure most do most of the time. It doesn't make it any easier to handle the words being said about you; so the best we can do it also "love 'em where they're at" and move on.

Understanding the personalities from Personality Plus has been helpful in this area as well. Not everyone is motivated to achieve and become better, and this doesn't make them a bad person. Everyone is entitled to their own beliefs. I pray that you are blessed enough to be surrounded by loving, supporting and believing family and friends. I hope that you will have the strength to let go of the relationships in your life that are pulling you down; not for selfish reasons, simply because the negativity is unhealthy.

Know that along your journey through this life that you will have cheerleaders and critics. But in the end it doesn't matter; what matters most is your personal choice to learn, grow and love throughout it all. Believe in yourself and do your best. Afterall, "The journey is the reward." - tao saying.

Keep Dreaming,
M

Encouragement - Medicine for the Heart & Soul (Relationship Series)

"Flatter me, and I may not believe you. Criticize me, and I may not like you. Ignore me, and I may not forgive you. Encourage me, and I will not forget you." - William Arthur Ward

I have chosen the next post for this series on relationships to be on Encouragement. This ties well into the second point given in my last post - choose not to complain - uplift.

The word "encourage" means to inspire with courage, spirit or confidence. Other words to describe "encourage" could be: approval, assistance, promote, urge, support, hearten and reassure to name a few. The word's history dates back to the 15th century with EN being to "make/put in" then CORAGE being "courage" as known today: the quality of mind/spirit that enables a person to face difficulty, danger or pain without fear; also known as bravery. (dictionary.com) So when torn apart as such and then pieced back together encourage essentially means to help someone become brave through your belief in them.

Can you think of a better person to encourage than your spouse/significant other? Hint: you should not have another suggestion, for if you do, perhaps this is the very reason your relationship may not be all you want it to be. I have recently heard a couple speakers, over the past holiday season, state that to be happy is to give happy to others. Have you ever noticed the feeling you get when you give someone an awesome gift and they love it so much? Notice how you are happier in those moments than you could be with any gift you receive. Well, as Florence Littauer states so perfectly, our words should be like little silver boxes with bows on top - being used only to edify, uplift and encourage; and never to put down others.

I am very blessed and fortunate to have a very encouraging husband (Matt). I know that he believes in me, loves me for who I am and accepts me even when I make mistakes. Mistakes, when you are married no longer become "your" mistakes, or shouldn't be viewed as such. When one fails the other should go down gracefully and uplift and encourage you both back up. The one who failed knows they have failed, they aren't stupid; so why kick them while they are down, because that only brings the entire relationship down with the failure. Instead by encouraging through the tough time you can assure your mate that it really doesn't matter what happened, you vowed to be there with and for them through it all - afterall, life IS the journey. Matt is amazing at this. I however, not so much; I'm still learning and growing.

"A word of encouragement during a failure is worth more than an hour of praise after success." - Unknown.

I have learned a few lessons in our two years of marriage so far; after attending seminars on leadership and personal development, reading multiple books, listening to audios and most importantly associating with ladies who have strong relationships with their husbands. Through some of this experience I have developed my own  four step process to learning to becoming more encouraging towards your spouse. As I have stated previously, I write these blogs in an effort to teach myself along the way; so I can assure you, you are not alone on this journey!

Step 1. Say Nothing Negative. We were given two ears and one mouth. Now you may have always wondered why, so here it is: Use them in that proportion! This is probably one of the most valuable things I have learned. As I stated in my last blog, say only a small portion of the things you think, especially if you are unsure if they are positive or negative! Do not say anything negative to your mate, or about your mate; either to them or to others. Every negative thing you say to your mate cancels about about 10 to 20 positive things you have previously said. So its your choice, you can say what you think and create work for yourself or you can "shut it" and truck along to higher grounds in the relationship field!

Step 2. Find Good. You married (or started dating) this person for a reason, likely quite a few really; especially considering you plan to spend the rest of your life with them. So there ARE some really great reasons you chose your mate; dive into your memory and heart and dig up those things. Remind your spouse of them regularly. Most importantly, do not wait for them to do something spectacular to praise and encourage them, find good in everyday things; ignore the bad (read Whale Done for encouragement on this!). Make your spouse feel you value and appreciate their work. But remember, it has to be genuine and sincere; for as the quote above states flattery is not believable. Try to identify great character qualities your spouse has as well as speaking highly of his/her deeds. I agree that sometimes it can be hard to think of things off the top of your head, or in the spur of the moment, etc. So here are some examples of the character qualities I value, respect and love in my husband (Matt). There are many, but here are a few that come to mind right away.

Matt is honest, loyal and devoted to himself, to me and to everyone. I respect his strength and persistence along with his vision and virtue. He is selfless, thoughtful and very intelligent. Matt has a very analytical mind and has an immense amount of patience that everyone should learn from! I respect his faith in himself, in me, in others and in knowing we are placed here to fulfill a bigger purpose. There are so many more reason I love and respect this man; I hope this helped to inspire you to find and remember all the amazing character qualities your spouse has, too!

Step 3. Edify in Public. Our society has become very corrupt in this area, and all for the means of a bit of entertainment (if you want to call it that). TV shows all portray relationships almost as living jokes. The wife makes fun of the husband in front of family and friends, etc. The husband talks low of the wife. Vicious circle spiraling into divorce. This is programming our minds to act the same way in our own relationships. My point here is we need to actively aspire to edify, uplift, speak well of, and encourage our mate to others. Not in a sense of bragging, but just speak the truth when the moment presents itself - whether your mate is present during the conversation or not you are making a lasting affect on your relationship. Believe what you say and say what you believe; what's more important to you anyways? A long, loving and lasting relationship with your spouse or 1-2 minutes of laughter from others at your spouse's expense - which creates even more damage in your relationship. Think long and hard the next time you want to tell that "funny story" about your spouse. Is it something you would enjoy them sharing about you in public?

"I can live for two months on a good compliment." - Mark Twain

Step 4. Continuous Learning & Growth. This one will take a bit more effort and searching on your part. Choose to read books that will lay a good foundation in your mind for a healthy relationship. Yes, I agree walking into Chapters or any other book store can be overwhelming when you have no idea where to start; so seek someone on the same or similar journey as you and ask for book recommendations. Any fool can write a book, and most do. But why would you take relationship advice from someone who has been divorced? Nothing against divorce, I understand in a very small number of circumstances it may be necessary, however its hogwash to think that the current 50%+ divorce rate is all necessary circumstances. So seek from someone with whom you would like to aspire to become more like. A few great books to start with include: 5 Love Languages, Personality Plus, Love & Respect, For Women Only, For Men Only, and a classic How to Win Friends and Influence People.

Your marriage or relationship is all that you have made it, so far. Yes perhaps your mate hasn't been contributing as much as he/she should be either. But you have two choices (you are an adult FYI); choose to start creating a more positive you by only speaking words of encouragement to your spouse; or continue with what you are doing and perhaps end up a statistic. I assure you once you start to encourage your spouse more regularly you will see a difference in your relationship; not overnight granted - all change takes time. So all the best for your journey, I am here for you!

Keep Dreaming,
M

Be a Thermostat - A Series on Relationships

Relationships are all around us. We all have relationships with someone; be it spouse, parents, siblings, friends, business partners, co-workers, or even pets. Relationships are one of the keys to life. Just because you have a relationship, now, doesn't mean its a good one; and that is exactly what my next few blogs will focus on. IMPROVING relationships; I have come nowhere close to arriving; so am learning along with you and just hope to impart something that may help you in your journey. I will speak mostly to marriage, solely because I feel it is one of the most important and impactful relationships we will have in our lives. Also I think it is the relationship in society in need of the most work and improving (50%+ divorce rate?!).

Throughout the next few blogs I plan to cover some of the following areas of relationships: Attitude, 5 Love Languages, Encouragement, Love & Respect, and Personalities.

Today I am starting with Attitude. There are a few books I would like to mention/recommend if you are interested: The Difference Maker by John Maxwell and Attitude is Everything by Jeff Keller. In our marriages (this applies even if you aren't married but are perhaps in a long-time relationship or engaged or ever plan to be married!) we need to be a thermostat, not a thermometer. Hmm... funny concept isn't it? What I mean is that we need to choose to have a good attitude and set the attitude "temperature" for our homes. If your spouse walks in the door from a long, tiring and perhaps miserable day at work and you greet them with all the bad things that happened to you throughout the day you are not doing your job as a thermostat. Think for a second; a thermostat sets the temperature of the room and we have the choice of what temperature we want the room to be.

There are a few keys principles to implement in order to change your attitude to a positive one; therefore improving your marriage/relationship. Count your blessings - be thankful; choose not to complain - uplift; talk to yourself instead of listening to yourself - what you focus on expands.

"The secret to happiness is to count your blessings while others are adding up their troubles." - William Penn

I love this quote and feel it speaks loudly to the importance of positive thinking. When positive thinking occupies your mind there is no room for the negative - your attitude automatically is more positive. I encourage you to write a list of the ten things you are most thankful for in your spouse and then also in your entire life. Place this somewhere you will see it regularly to remind yourself when you are having a bad day that you have too many things to be thankful for to waste your time down in the dumps.

"You have two ears and one mouth - use them in proportion!" I often repeat this to myself when frustrated! I have a strong personality and am easily riled up so have had to learn to control my words in order to control my attitude. Perhaps by implementing this in your relationship you will create a more positive atmosphere where a stronger relationship can flourish. Now, on really bad days I strongly recommend saying one in 10 things you think. This works well because odds are VERY good that the other nine were not positive, encouraging or inspiring to anyone, including yourself! By choosing not to complain you are developing a unique habit of strength. It takes only 21 days to create a habit, why not start today?

This leads into the importance of talking to yourself instead of listening to your self (as my husband, Matt, always says and promotes!). Although when you first read this line it may sound a little silly; when you know the facts and reasoning behind it you will soon agree! Our conscious mind works on about 2000 neurons and our subconscious mind works on 4 billion neurons; see the significance in our subconscious!? So if you program your subconscious with positive thoughts it will promote positive outcomes in your attitude. This happens because our subconscious is unable to determine what is real and what we are just programming to become real. We all have those two little people inside our heads (you know, the angel & devil of cartoons - one on each shoulder). It is our choice to listen and believe the much quieter positive fellow, in time the positive will become louder than the negative.

By implementing these three small principles into your life you will start to see small improvements in your relationships. Now, remember change does not happen overnight; therefore you will have good and bad days on this journey to better your relationships. The important thing is to keep your eyes on the prize and persist through the bad days.

Keep Dreaming,
M

Resolutions - How to Keep Them into February, May, July and Beyond!

We all know someone like this. If you don't..... it could be you.

This is the time of year when everyone chooses to press the "refresh" button. We all make our resolutions for what this new year will bring us, how we will change our lives for the better, and in what areas we will grow. It is the one time of year that the majority of society will admit they have to change something AND work out a plan to make it happen. Step 3 however is to follow the plan - for more than just January!

This year I am excited for a the new year. I have resolved to become a better me; be it wife, friend, new mom, business woman, etc. What are you going to do? Don't get me wrong, I will also make the same 95%er resolutions the rest of society makes as well; to eat healthier and be more active, be frugal, get out of debt, enjoy life more, learn something new, etc. I also resolve to KEEP them.

Resolutions are fine and dandy; great even! The proof (and truth) is in the pudding - and the pudding here is our plans to make our resolutions happen and our ability to discipline ourselves to follow through with the plans. A resolution is defined as a determination. A determination is defined as a decision. And, although a decision does not necessarily have to be set in stone being determined about your decision should essentially make it set in stone, one would think. So why do we buy the gym pass, go for a month, and then forget we even bought it?

Change does not happen overnight (whether in a single person, family or an entire business), anyone who thinks it does has never really changed. Change is a process, in this case of improvement; it is the creating of a new habit. Creating a new habit is just as hard as outing a old/bad habit. SO all you who are thinking that the world doesn't know what it feels like to try to quit smoking if they aren't smokers themselves (example), think again. Creating a new good habit is just as hard.

Research has proven that creating or breaking a habit takes 21 consistent days. Not an eternity, just 3 measly weeks! The important part here is to remember the difference between your subconscious and conscious mind. Your subconscious mind is extraordinarily powerful when programmed properly. Your conscious mind is the one telling you how painful this is going to be and how you will never make it. So, my friends, as my husband Matt loves to quote "we have to stop listening to ourselves and start talking to ourselves." Do you REALLY want to lose that weight, run that marathon, quit smoking, become a better spouse, etc? Really? Then all we must do is tell ourselves it is only 21 days, that's nothing, no biggy, sinche, easy-peasy. Take a calendar, do a countdown, cross the days off. By the time you hit day 21 you will realize consciously it isn't that hard and subsciously the importance of continuing.

The next important thing to be doing during this resolution season - 21 day commitment to change and betterment - is to be using imagery to program your powerful subconscious. Find a few pictures that can portray the person you will be, the old habit you will have kicked, or the new habit you will have achieved and keep this infront of you. Perhaps in your wallet, on your bathroom mirror, on your bulletin board, on your fridge, you choose; but choose a place where you will be certain to see it everyday. Your subconscious sees this picture and believes it is reality then setting you out to do whatever it takes to achieve this.

Finally, we go back to good ole association. "If you hang around with bank robbers, odds are you will drive the get-away car." So, my goodness, what would happen if you choose in 2012 to hang around with people who have success and are working towards more success?! And by "success" I do not mean solely money. Money doesn't buy happiness in your marriage, money can't buy you true friends, money doesn't make you skinnier itself, money doesn't give you more believe in yourself or a higher power. Money is a tool. I mean in any of the 8F areas of your life - family, friends, finances, fitness, faith, freedom, fun, and following (LIFE, 2011).

So this year I will make resolutions along with the rest of society, I will work harder than ever to keep them, I will focus on 21 days, I will place pictures, quotes and phrases everywhere (so if you visit me at home don't ask, because now you know) and perhaps most importantly, I will continue to associate with people who are choosing to better their lives, as well.

What will you do in 2012?

Keep Dreaming,
M

Freedom - 2011-11

What does freedom mean to you?

I managed to capture a very unique moment in time today, Remembrance Day. 2011-11-11 at 11:11am for a Remembrance Day service. Everyone gathered to share in a common purpose; gratitude for the freedom that was fought for.

Perhaps today (November 11, 2011) might be the perfect day to think about your freedom, the freedom in your family, your life, your community, your country and the world. What have you done to fight for freedom?

Fighting for freedom can be done in many senses; from physical warfare in other countries, as we remembered today, to personal change and growth to become a better person and leader in turn influencing your family, into your community, into your province, into your country and in the world. It is time we step up.

Today we attended a Remembrance Day service, something that was said stuck with me. They talked about the young men and women who really were unaware of what they were getting themselves into and having the courage to step forth dream a bigger dream, fight for a better land and a safer home. It takes true courage and persistence to do this; imagine the dream that lay in the hearts of the many soldiers to have gone through what they did.

Recently, at the launch of the LIFE business in Columbus Ohio, I had the distinct pleasure of hearing from author, speaker and educator Oliver DeMille. I was excited because of the many great things everyone was saying, however in all honesty I was a little apprehensive that he would speak to "me." I was gladly surprised when I was completely captivated and engulfed in his entire talk. He explained to us that a world shift takes place about every century and the last once started in 1913. So a world shift is in the making right now. You may be reading and wondering why any of this is relevant to Remembrance Day. Well, there are two kinds of world shifts, a freedom shift or a force shift. Clearly our countries need a freedom shift. All freedom must be fought for. "Nothing worth having comes without some kind of fight; you've got to kick at the darkness until it bleeds daylight."

Perhaps you have family who fought for our freedom or are currently fighting; and today we remembered. I am thankful to these many brave men and women. I also feel that it is time for each one of us to step up personally and do what we can to have this next world shift sway to freedom. Don't let what these men and women fought for get flushed because you do not want to miss your Thursday night TV line-up. Take a stand, read a book, change and grow personally - strive to become better and fight for freedom, one life at a time!

Keep Dreaming,
M

Explore. Dream. Discover.

"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbour. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."

-- MARK TWAIN

It can be easy to get caught in the rat race these days. "Go to school, get good grades, keep your nose clean, get a good job with benefits and they will take care of you." Ever heard that?! Yup, me too. And with all do respect to our teachers, parents, coaches, and other elders; they knew what they were talking about... when we were in the Industrial Age. However, my friends, we have entered the Information Age. Yes, remember your first computer? Remember dial up internet? Remember your childhood email addresses, which yes we all still have but refuse to repeat outloud when someone asks. Remember when someone said hey have you heard of Facebook? And then you created your account. That was all the beginning of the Information Age. Where no longer can you count on your university degree getting you the big job you were "dreaming of." Now perhaps this paragraph was mostly babbling on my part, or perhaps you have learned a thing or two about the Ages. 


Now back to that rat race... Mondays are the worst right?! Start of a new week, a full 5 more days before the next weekend, ugh. Tuesdays, well could be better. Wednesday, now here we go "hump day" we're at the top of the hump and its all down hill the rest of the week. Thursdays arent so bad because *sniff sniff* smells like Friday. And Friday, well how could it get better than to work in your favourite jeans!? Saturday is perfect because it belongs solely to you and no one else; get up when you're done sleeping, eat when you're hungry, wear flip flops, slippers or anything you want on your feet, freedom at last. Then comes Sunday morning, which isnt so bad, but Sunday night brings cold sweats, shakes and nausea all around. Because, yup tomorrow's Monday. And the rat race continues. "The problem with being in the rat race is, even if you win you're still a rat!" (Joce Dionne)


But what if? What if there was something more? What if you could work harder now, run for your goals and dreams; pay now and play later? Would you give yourself a chance? What if? And if you found that, why wouldn't you at least give it the "good ole college try?" I mean you'd be crazy not to, right? So why not?


Everyday people become another day, week, month and year older, and sweep another dream under the rug. Perhaps it was vacationing every year and being able to take friends of family with you. Perhaps buying a big ticket item for someone you've always loved and appreciated. Perhaps its secretly buying Christmas for a dozen needy families... anomously. Perhaps its just being out of debt, head above water and breathing comfortable in your finances. I can't tell you what you have shoved under a rug, and maybe you dont think you can either. But I can tell you to start sorting through those dust bunnies, hair balls and bread crumbs under that rug and pull those dreams back out one at a time. Put them infront of you and picture yourself in them. Whats the worst that can happen? You dont get them perfectly, because you didnt put an honest effort in? Well hate to break it, but our subconscious minds are powerful enough to remember them deep down and create everlasting regrets for at least not trying.


So, said best by Mark Twain above, "throw off the bowlines" and sail. Dream big, believe in something worth believing - no better place to start than YOU!


Keep Dreaming,
M

Attitude of Gratitude: Create a Ripple

 “We often take for granted the very things that most deserve our gratitude.” 

~ Cynthia Ozic

There are times in this life when we have to be tougher than we think we know how to be. Perhaps for you it is facing one of your largest fears; perhaps it is a promotion, or being overwhelmed with your work, maybe it is an illness - either yourself or a loved one, or maybe you are financially strapped. Regardless of our troubling times we must always try to remember the importance of hope.

It has been said we can live 3 months without companionship or love, 3 weeks without food, 3 days without water, 3 hours without shelter (in extreme conditions), 3 minutes without air, but only 3 seconds without HOPE. "Hope is what faith is made of" (Claude Hamilton), so we truly have to strive to keep hope in our hearts at all times. We need to count our blessings each day, look at the life we are living, the loved ones around us (near or far - "around" with loved ones means the distance in our hearts only), the food in our tummy, and the opportunities we are presented with each day. Chances are good that if you are reading this, you have more to be thankful for than you realize, by times. I am not trying to be rude or tough-hearted, don't get me wrong. I, personally, find a good "slap up-side the head" in thankfulness can really bring me up and out of the dumpy hole I can tend to dig myself into.

Having hope and being thankful for what we have in troubling times, does not mean we overlook what is happening that was/is troubling in the first place. However, the hope and thankfulness gives us a different outlook and attitude towards the situation. Attitudes are contagious (just like yawns), be it positive or negative, they can spread like wildfire. If we can choose to not dwell on the negative in a troubling time, we can give and spread hope to everyone around us by having a positive attitude - leading back to being thankful for what we do have and knowing (pending your own personal beliefs) that there is a higher power that knows a bit more and is making the best decisions for the situation. I am not trying to tell you what/how/who to believe - I just hope you know why you believe what you believe.

HOPE is defined as the belief in a positive outcome related to events and circumstances in one's life. This is a jammed-pack definition of so many things that can be expanded on, but one specific word jumps out to me personally: belief. Belief gets us through our days. Maybe its believing in our goals and dreams and having something to run and strive for, maybe its belief in a better tomorrow if our today isn't quite right, maybe its belief in a higher power in a time of turmoil or struggle; the strongest is belief in ourselves. Belief in ourselves will get us closer to our goals and dreams; belief in ourselves will get us through the today to get to the tomorrow; belief in ourselves will give us courage, faith and strength in the times of struggle.

One of the most powerful gifts we can give others is the gift of belief. Giving belief is giving a hand-up out of the struggle instead of giving a hand-out. Perhaps there are times when a hand-out may seem like the right thing, when really a hand-up will be much more powerful long-term. The hand-out is a one shot deal providing no long-term affect on the person's life and can sometimes even hinder their situation even more. A hand-up is a learning opportunity, a chance to build for a brighter tomorrow, not just a not-so-dark-today (that a hand-out gives).

Giving belief to others starts within us. We must first have belief in ourselves. This belief in ourselves gives us a positive attitude automatically, the positive attitude is contagious, giving others hope. By giving that little piece of hope we have no idea how much we can change a person's life.

We all want to have an impact on this world we live in, live a life of significance and leave a legacy for future generations. I think this poem is a great way to sum it all up.

_______

I Wanted To Change The World

When I was young, I wanted to change the world. 

I found it was difficult to change the world, so I tried to change my nation. 

When I found I couldn't change the nation, I began to focus on my town. I couldn't change the town and as an older man/woman, I tried to change my family. 

Now, as an old man/woman, I realize the only thing I can change is myself, and suddenly I realize that if long ago I had changed myself, I could have made an impact on my family. My family and I could have made an impact on our town. Their impact could have changed the nation and I could indeed have changed the world.

______

Focus on changing from within; start with having a little hope and belief in yourself. Who knows what kind of an impact and ripple effect you will create. What if? and Why not?

Dream Big,

M

Freedom Is Sacred - Learn & Grow

"Lack of discipline always leads to slavery" ~ Claude Hamilton

Freedom means a lot of different things to a lot of different people; however uniquely represents an overall feeling amongst all these "things." I have heard a few talks in the past year or so, from some very successfully free leaders, that have opened my eyes to what true freedom represents. This quote above says it best.

Lacking discipline will lead to slavery in every example; whether it is in something small or huge. For example, if we do not eat right and exercise (lack of discipline in our health), it won't necessarily lead to slavery right away, but soon, we will become unhealthy to a point where we can't eat the variety of foods we once could, then sick and even more limited on our food choices, then perhaps hospitalized where we are told what we can and cannot eat (slavery in a sense). All because our lack of discipline when it was a slight edge decision, we wind up hospitalized with some illness that leaves us vulnerable and without freedom any longer.

The old/common saying "ignorance is bliss" is interesting; ignorance is NOT bliss, it may seem like bliss to those who want to avoid taking responsibility, but he key word there is "seem." So to further that, "everything is not as it seems," therefore ignorance truly is not bliss, because it is not as it seems. I rest my case (but for those of you confused, I will give you some background for proof and clarification). The root of freedom is responsibility and maturity; immaturity in a sense, is ignorance. Ignorance is lacking knowledge or information and also not learning. Immaturity is defined as: not fully grown or lacking wisdom. Responsibility is being accountable, competent and capable - all of which require knowledge, information and wisdom. Responsibility takes discipline, as it can not always be easy to make the right decisions.

Wrapping this all back around in a circle, now that everything is at least semi-defined, proves that: 1) Ignorance is not bliss, 2) In order to achieve a level of freedom in anything, we have to grow, learn and mature through discipline into a person who actively takes responsibility, and 3) Anyone can do this - yes even you.

What would your Freedom Day look like to you? Would you have lost the weight that is weighing, not just on your body, but on your heart and mind as well (pun intended). Would it be your last day of work, because you are now able to be a stay-at-home-wife/mom? Would it be the moment/day you pay off your last piece of debt? What is it for you? I truly challenge you to write this out in great detail, or at least think about it. If you write it out and read it 2-3 times daily, I can almost assure you that you will achieve it. Although hard work is half the battle, persistence and visualizing your dream is the very important other half (if not more).

Tomorrow, I have the privilege and unique opportunity to share and experience a good friend's Freedom Day. I know it will be very emotional, exciting and exhilarating. But I look forward to every single moment and know that it is helping to build a dream inside me as well.

Keep Dreaming,
M

Another Piece to The Puzzle "You"

It is very likely that as you continue to follow me (all two of you) on this blog that you may or may not notice the trend in my writing. I tend to write about things I am working on, need to work on, or intend to work on as I move forward. Therefore, it is only appropriate this blog will address: ATTITUDE.

I am certain as a child we were all given the same warnings about our attitudes: “Listen missy, you had best change your attitude or else…,” “Do you need an attitude adjustment?,” “If the wind changes direction your face will freeze that way,” “Don’t smile, your face might crack!” If you haven’t heard any of these before, perhaps you have been called: “Debbie-Downer,” “Miss Priss,” “Cranky-pants,” “Negative-Nelly,” or “Mr./Mrs. Know-It-All.”

No, still nothing ringing a bell? Then congrats, you seem to have made it thus far with nothing but positivity seeping from you. Either that, or maybe you have such a scary demeanour that no one has told you how negative you really are. However, there is one more option; perhaps you are the type that has always managed to lay low and fly under the radar, you aren’t really negative nor are you overly positive and your choice vocabulary is “meh, doesn’t matter.” Regardless of where you fit, I know where I was, where I am and where I want to be; I highly suggest you figure out the same. This will require confronting brutal reality (which my husband has written about in his most recent blog post at www.surpassinggoliaths.blogspot.com).

In the past six months or so I have focused a lot of my reading on improving attitudes. A few of the best books I have come across, and that were recommended by some very successful mentors, include: “Attitude is Everything” by Jeff Keller and “The Difference Maker” by John C. Maxwell (it should be noted that pretty well anything written by John C. Maxwell is worth its weight in gold!). 

Attitude is not at the flick of a switch, it is something that we have to be aware of daily in order to implement true improvement. We have to become aware of what we are saying to ourselves. Our subconscious mind is immensely more powerful than our conscious mind. This will require effort, commitment to change and patience. We will make mistakes and suffer disappointments; success is on the other side of failing and inconvenience. “It may not be your fault for being down, but it is your fault for not getting up.” (Steve Davis)

One of the first things I believe we could all strive to change (especially on these rainy May days) is the negative response we are so in tune to giving to a comment on how terrible the weather is. If we have a roof over our head, food in our belly and a safe and happy support circle of friends and family, why the hay do we complain about a few drops of rain or fluffs of cloud? And if that is truly what we are complaining about (and not just complaining to complain) then what do people in the desert complain about? You got it, heat.

We also need to be careful who we associate ourselves with. You know, the old “stay away from little Johnny” lecture your mom used to give you? Well, it proves a good point – those who occupy our time have a very significant impact over our mind, the most precious muscle in our body.  Strive to be a “good finder.”It is perhaps one of the most productive things you can do today. Find the good in the person in front of you, or even in yourself. John C. Maxwell suggests that you list the top ten things you’ve done in your life which you are most proud of. In an effort to use these ten things daily to motivate you when you are down, create a gratitude book. When you are having a bad day flip through, it is sure to bring you back up and remind you how blessed you really are.

However, your attitude is ultimately your choice.

“There is a choice you have to make in everything you do, so keep in mind that in the end, the choice you make, makes you.” (Unknown)

Keep Dreaming,

M

Blast From the Past - On Relationships...

You have so many relationships in this life
Only one or two will last
You go through all this pain and strife
Then you turn your back and they're gone so fast
And they're gone so fast
So hold on to the ones who really care
In the end they'll be the only ones there
When you get old and start losing your hair
Can you tell me who will still care?
Can you tell me who will still care?

- Hanson (MmmBop)

Who would have thought that such thought-provoking words would be sung by three long-haired brothers in their early teens in the late 90's? I was madly in love with these boys, as was my best friend. We were barely in our teens but were sure that we would both trot off to the "Middle of Nowhere" and marry two of the three of these boys... Thank God we grew out of that! 

However, now after I am older and "wiser" I pulled out that bright orange CD after all these years and reminisced about the days of sitting in my bedroom listening to these songs over and over again and dreaming, really and truly dreaming. However, today I really listened to the words and was caught by the first verse of an all-time favourite "MmmBop" (above). I truly believe relationships are the key to everything in life. Having a bad day? Well, if we have an amazing relationship with someone...anyone really, odds are they are going to be able to cheer us up. Not as successful as we would like to be? (You define what "success" means to you) Odds are, we could strengthen a relationship with someone and things would start to come together better and we would be on our way to the success we have been dreaming of.

A few suggested books on the "subject" (to be extremely vague) include: 5 Love Languages, Personality Plus, How to Win Friends and Influence People, How I Raised Myself From Failure to Success in Selling, Grown-Up Girlfriends...the list goes on and on and on.

There will always be trials and tribulations in our relationships; be it with a spouse, parent, sibling, friend or business partner. There is no way to avoid them in when they spring up, and the only way to avoid conflict is to be courageous enough to step up and face a problem before it becomes a trial or tribulation. Courage is not easy to use, but it will save some of the most important relationships in our lives...should we choose to use it.

"Plant a seed, plant a flower, plant a rose

You can plant any one of those

Keep planting to find out which one grows

It's a secret no one knows"

Another verse that also speaks loudly. Sure if you are a gardener this is also true; however applied to relationships very profound. We truly do not know who will be there for us until we stop, take a look around and realize who really does care. Unfortunately in today's society we wait until things are bad and we are crying for help or support to find out who are the ones that really care. My suggestion is to stop, yes it will be hard, I know you are "busy" but trust me it will be worth it; stop, take that look around now, evaluate who has always been standing by your side when you needed it most. Now, are you giving them and the relationship with them the time, dedication, and love it deserves? No? Perhaps its time we pick up one of the books mentioned above and apply them to our lives. All the best on this journey, you are in for a bumpy old dirt road.


Remember its.. Dream - STRUGGLE - Victory!


Keep Dreaming,
M

Fruit On the Tree

If you are hungry in an orchard do you eat off the tree with nothing but some leaves, twigs and branches or do you find a tree with the best fruit to eat from? Learning and excelling in life should be treated similarly - find a mentor.

Having a "mentor" in today's society has become over-rated to 95% (or more) of the population. However, it can be guaranteed that those who have experienced and are experiencing success in life have acquired knowledge and advice from someone at some point throughout their journey.  It's safe to say that 50 years ago a high majority of individuals had some form of a mentor, more so than today. Some people were a protégé to a skilful master, learning a skill or trade from that of which they called their mentor; while others were friends, family or acquaintances who were striving to learn from the more experienced neighbour they looked up to, but maybe did not officially call them a mentor. A mentor should be held in high esteem. 

Today may be the day that a mentor is needed in our lives more than ever. After all, these are the times when "we have taller buildings, but shorter tempers; wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints; we spend more, but have less; we buy more, but enjoy it less." (Dalai Lama) A mentor has stepped through many minefields, and perhaps even lost a sacred baby-toe or two. Should we wish to keep all our toes (and other important appendages), we must actively seek a mentor. From what I have learned in my journey thus far, I highly suggest finding someone a bit older or wiser or more experienced than ourselves. That's not to say they must be all or any of these, however, strive to find someone with the "fruit on the tree" that you wish to have on your own tree (aka. in your life). We need not go out and pay someone to be our mentor, or at least we shouldn't have to. An older friend, family acquaintance or business partner should be of like mind in mentorship to want to stretch their own minds and offer their wisdom to a next generation. After all, if they don't share it what else are they going to do with it? I do not believe hibernation calls for hoarding wisdom for dumber days.... however, to each their own!

The Dalai Lama gave us the perfect reason that we all need to find a mentor. What have our lives come to when "we have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often. We've learned how to make a living, but not a life; we've added years to life, not life to years." A mentor will be able to offer advice and wisdom in all areas of life; relationships being key, as they are the center to life in general. Perhaps for some, a mentor may start out as opening a personal development book; after all, the author did dedicate multiple years and an insurmountable volume of wisdom which they have acquired in real-life experiences and now offer to us for a measly $20. What else of this value can we actually invest $20 and get the kind of return on investment of a better relationship with our spouse, a sibling or a long-time friend; a strengthened faith; more knowledge in the business world; better finances; a healthier lifestyle; or even just the feeling of striving for the best? 

Maybe mentorship will start for you with an older sibling, new found friend or respected individual in your community. Where we choose to get our mentorship is not as important as ensuring we have some form of positive mentorship. Without mentorship in life we cannot be certain of the direction we should be heading. Perhaps we have arrived at a fork in the road and really can't decide which is best for us: left or right? A mentor has the ability to see the bigger picture, including our vision and desired destination, and can offer guidance to us on our journey. A mentor also has the ability to provide invaluable wisdom, they can identify that if we veer a tad to the right we will get back on course and head to our destination much quicker and with less "mountains" to climb along the way. 

Now, don't judge like I did and have your first impression be that having a mentor is just providing "the easy way out," because rest assured, there will be a multitude of courageous conversations between you and your mentor while a relationship of trust is built, as a strong foundation for the journey. After all, you will have to submit (for lack of a better word) to your mentor's vision once a trustful foundation is established and be confident in their advice, which will be hard to take at times. No one likes to have their faults pointed out, but if we are truly on a journey to living intentionally for excellence we have established there is change to be made within ourselves; and who better to identify and quicken the process than an experienced "minefield" survivor like a mentor.

Keep Dreaming,

M

Keep Your Coins, I Want Change

"Change is inevitable, but growth is optional" - Laurie Woodward

We can be assured we will experience various changes throughout our lives; it's up to us whether we choose to learn and grow, or resist in our attempt to maintain status quo. However, when we stop and take a look around, there is definitely at least one thing we could get better at. Maybe it’s being a better friend, maybe it’s being a better wife or mom (or husband or father), maybe it’s committing to better health, maybe its learning to relax a little more, worry less and enjoy the ride. No matter where we are in our journey, we can always get better. This is not to say that where we are right now is not good; it’s just to say we have the opportunity to embrace a journey to excellence - should we choose to accept.

Dr. Anthony Campolo completed a survey with fifty people over the age of 95; one question that was asked was as follows: "If you could live your life over again, what would you do differently?" There were three common answers that we should acknowledge and accept as advice from the minefield of life, (take note they did not wish they had made more money!) these were:

- If I had to do it over again, I would reflect more.

- If I had to do it over again, I would risk more.

- If I had to do it over again, I would do more things that would live on after I am dead.

Personally, when I am 95 years old, with a very wrinkly pink VW Beetle tattoo I should add, I want to be proud of the life I have lived to that point. Sure I will have an abundance of advice to pass on, from mistakes made and lessons learned, however I do not want to have any desires as strong as those stated above, running through my mind when presented with this question. Kudos to these surveyees for their courage and honesty!

To reflect can be defined as to "think about." And if you have ever read a book (or even a chapter) by Dale Carnegie, John C. Maxwell, David Schwartz, Robert Kiyosaki or many other amazing authors on the topic of life, faith, success, people, leadership or business, you know the key to everything is the way you think, what you think and how you train yourself to think each day. Now, maybe we can appreciate the significance of the subtle advice from our elders and learn to reflect more, after all these days are the journey; why race to the destination? Have fun and don't take yourself too seriously - as they say - you will never make it out alive.

Risk has become a four letter word in today's society (pun intended). No one is up for "taking a chance." Everyone hunts for that safe and secure job, car, home, friend, everything. Don't get me wrong, safety is of high importance; however a false sense of security is not. For example, the days of pensions taking care of us in our golden years are over. A smaller generation cannot possibly fund a pension for a larger retiring generation. Pensions were created for the Baby-Boomers and that is who will see them. We have all followed the fallacy of go to school, get good grades, get a good job, keep your nose clean and work until you are 65, then retire on the beaches of Florida with golf club in hand (you might as well run on the beach in the soft waves holding hands in the sunset too, while you're at it!). This worked great in the Industrial Age for the Baby-Boomers. We have entered the Information Age, things are different here. No longer do you "need money to make money." So, we need to step up and choose a risk that has a possibility for betterment in our lives, because rest assured, we are jeopardizing more by not risking than we ever could by "taking a chance." Everyone will do the work of a millionaire from the neck down. Why not take a risk, and work on personal growth from the neck up! What do you have to lose?

To do more things that live on after one has passed may sound like a very heavy undertaking. However, perhaps it is helping someone in need close by or far from home, maybe it is developing as a leader within the community, workplace, church, country or even family; creating a following and respect that is unheard of these days, and will last a lifetime. To me this is the "Make a Difference" in life, you choose where your "difference" will focus. Don't be left with regrets wishing you made a bigger impact.

Personal weaknesses are hard to admit. It can be easy to pass judgement on others’ faults without even thinking twice, but this is not effective living. We will have to be courageous enough to identify an area to work on personally. We can look to many areas for something we need to change and improve. However, relationships are the root to life and if we don’t have strong, loving and respectful relationships with those closest to us we can be certain problems will arise. The first step is identifying a relationship in our life that needs work then seek education. (Such as Five Love Languages, Love & Respect, Grown-Up Girlfriends or Wild at Heart; and countless others.) We cannot just read one of these books and place a check mark in the box, we have to apply the contents; this may be the most courageous thing you will ever do. But the “Slight Edge” effect will last a lifetime.

Keep Dreaming,

M

Dream, Struggle, Victory...

“Study while others are sleeping; 

 Work while others are loafing; 

 Prepare while others are playing;

 and Dream while others are wishing.” 

-William A. Ward

Take from this quote what you will at first; but this really speaks to the fact that success in any endeavour is nothing more than that little extra effort that 95% of the population is unwilling to give. Is your dream worth the struggle to victory? 

The struggle does not feel worth it when we are immersed in the journey; be assured it will feel worth it when we take that last step to victory. It’s easy to look back on difficult situations we have faced in our life and whole-heartedly say, now afters years of growth, that that particular situation was very tough but we would not go back and change it for the world; for afterall, it carried us to where we are right now – which I hope you can be thankful for. However, when in the middle of that “sticky” moment, when we just want to throw in the towel, sit back and relax and just stop running, it is not so easy to see the “worth it now” feeling we will have in the years to come. The key to getting through these struggles and tough moments in life (rather than giving up and sacrificing our dreams) is to “Keep Stroking” or just don’t give up in other words.

First we are going to have to determine our dreams (use “goals” if dream is too much for you to handle…). What brings that tear to your eye? What makes the hair on the back of your neck stand up or what gives you goosebumps? What have you always hoped and wished for since you were a child? Maybe these questions are as tough for you to determine answers to as they were/are for me… so try: What would you do if you won the lottery, you have $1 Million and one week to spend it or it all goes back? It can’t all go to one place, you can’t save or invest it, you have to spend, spend, spend! Write the first five things that come to your mind down. (feel free to share in comments if you are comfortable!) Now think long and hard of the feeling you get picturing yourself in these moments. I don’t care if you are a 6’4” 250lb tough guy or busy mom running in ten directions, you’re feeling something. That is as long as you are human.

Second, make a plan of how to achieve these. “If you fail to plan, you plan to fail” (Orrin Woodward). Nothing great was ever achieved without a plan.  Making this plan will not only provide us with the ground work for our journey, but also it will prove that our dreams are achievable and the only thing stopping it all from blossoming is ourselves.

There are tons and tons of amazing books that have been published in the last 100 years that deal with giving us a hand up in our journey to success. Perhaps it’s time to cut out 15 minutes of precious reality TV from our daily regime to develop a habit that will make all the difference when we sit back and reminisce two to five years from now and say “Those sure were some tough times, but I can tell you one thing, I am thankful now, I made the decisions I did sooner rather than later!”

Dream Big,
M