I would like to thank any of you who read this for having followed me thus far on my journey. I hope that I have provided you with some form or insight, inspiration, hope or even just entertainment.
I will continue my blogging journey, however have a new blog address for you to follow: www.melissadrover.wordpress.com. Please visit it to find my newest posts moving forward. Also don't forget to subscribe to getting emails with new updates on the new blog (right side bar at www.melissadrover.wordpress.com)!
Keep Dreaming,
M
Insights & Inspirations
One girl's encouragement for you join in striving to better your Life, Leadership and Relationships..
Friday, May 4, 2012
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
A Dr. Seuss Outlook on LIFE!
Dr. Seuss, we all know of him. Some of us grew up on his books, while others raised children & grand children on his books. And personally, I will keep that going by imparting Dr. Seuss wisdoms on our child in the coming months.
Dr. Seuss wrote on vision, enthusiam, persistance, acceptance and being an individual. Yes he rhyms and its sounds so fun as we read, but I think there's more to it. My husband and I were having a chat about poetry the last couple nights; neither of us are poets nor do we read poetry but it came up somehow. Matt had been listening to Oliver DeMille who was teaching on the thinking you acquire through poetry. The example Matt gave me from Oliver DeMille. DeMille explained that we are taught to think literally today, not poetically. I know this is true for myself. That we don't look deeper for any other meaning besides literal that the author may be trying to portray in his/her writing.
So then I got to thinking (attempting this new poetic thinking) and realized Dr. Seuss is a perfect example everyone can relate to. And "tada", a new blog post is born!
Oh! The Places You'll Go is one of my favourites. Its so motivating, encouraging, but still "realistic" enough for the average person who has yet to acquire the ability to have a big vision and strong belief. If you read this entire story you will see where the importance of persistence comes in. It is very encouraging, but does give you the warnings of things you will run into; teaching that persistence will get you through these things and that you ARE the person it takes to make it happen.
Congratulations!
Today is your day.
You're off to Great Places!
You're off and away!
You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself any direction you choose.
You're on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the guy who'll decide where to go.
Yes, its a children's story, which is why I believe its overlooked for its true value. Children are fortunate to have the ability to dream, believe and envision a bright future. But maybe, Dr. Seuss knew that YOU and I - the parent/adult-reading to that child needed encouragement, vision and belief even more than that developing child. Are you maximizing this opportunity?!
"Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened." - Dr. Seuss
Here Dr. Seuss is teaching us to not get stuck in the past. Be positive and enthusiastic. Simple but very meaningful and valuable when put to good practice!
"The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you'll go."- Dr. Seuss, I Can Read With My Eyes Shut!
Continuous learning is an important part of a successful life. Reading stretches our minds - and much like an elastic band it will then not go back to its previous form; meaning success will happen. The moment we stop learning is the moment we begin to age at a rapid pace! I don't know about you, but I will continue to read and stay young and alive in my heart & soul. A perfect real-life example of this in my life is my great-grandmother Jessie MacKinnon. She passed away in 2008 at the age of 94, of old age I should add. She was always reading, doing puzzles and stimulating her mind - which I believe 100% is the reason she lived a long, happy and fulfilled life.
"A person's a person, no matter how small."- Dr. Seuss, Horton Hears a Who!
This is the acceptance I spoke of. Sure, in the book Dr. Seuss literally means that the Whos in the little Whoville are people too. But invoke your poetic thinking as Oliver Demille describes and you will get the true meaning of this simple message from Dr. Seuss. Acceptance is important in today's society, everyone is entitled to their own beliefs, way of living and thinking. Who are we to judge people? Accept people where they are at in their life, you have no idea what is going on behind closed doors. As Amanda Marshall sings "Everybody's got a story that would break your heart!"
"Only you can control your future." - Dr. Seuss
You are in control of you life, take responsibility for it. As John Wooden writes: Never whine, Never Complain, Never makes excuses. To be successful (up to your own personal definition) you may never pass the buck. "The buck stops here" should be a sign you have posted on your desk. Passing blame is passing responsibility and ownership for your life and your future to someone else. Think about it next time you want to place blame - do you REALLY want THAT person responsibile for your future and your success?? No thank you!
And finally...
"Being crazy isn't enough." - Dr. Seuss
"Crazy" to the child you are reading to is being silly, funny and just wacked right out there in left field. Children find this funny and probably don't think much more of it. But I believe Dr. Seuss has a deeper meaning and message behind this small, silly and much overlooked quote. By "being crazy" what if he means just being different, being an individual. Thinking for yourself; perhaps even not following that herd of sheep (today's society) to the edge of the cliff (mediocrity). Instead "swim upstream." "If being crazy means living a life as if it matters, then I don't care if we are completely insane." - Unknown
Sure, you will be different; but ultimately what is your goal in life? To get to the "finish line" safely with time wasted infront of the TV, instead of out making a difference in someone's life? With time spent stuck inside for 8-10+ hours of the day at work, instead of investing that time in your family? I guess it comes down to asking yourself some hard questions. What if you knew you had two more weeks to live? Is/has your life panned out so far how you wanted/had hoped it would? No? Well are you willing to step up NOW and start making that right? There is nothing wrong with going against the grain, being average only gets you average results, and frankly, I don't know about you, but AVERAGE just isn't enough for this girl!
Again I repeat...
"Only you can control your future." - Dr. Seuss
Keep Dreaming,
M
Friday, February 24, 2012
LIFE Relationships - A Journey of Love, Support & Belief
"Friendship is a single soul dwelling in two bodies." - Aristotle |
"Intellectual growth should commence at birth and cease only at death." - Albert Einstein
First, the most important relationship in my life - my best friend, husband and soon-to-be new daddy to our baby, Matt. We have been married for just over two years now. We started out truly knowing nothing about marriage or maintaining a household together; to today where our marriage and relationship is something we both cherish deeply and grow in everyday. Don't get me wrong, we are far from perfect, but happiness is achieved when you are in pursuit! This has only been possible through both of us being willing to learn and grow together. We have both had to be there as the other fails and falls, affecting us both, to pick each other back up, dust off our butts, join hands and take the next step forward together. A few books that have helped me in understanding how to have a happy healthy relationship are: 5 Love Languages, Personality Plus and 5 Languages of Apology, among many, many others. I strongly recommend you read these books. They have a wealth of knowledge to offer in the area of relationships (and not just marriage, but friends and family relationships too!).
"If you step on a slug, you don't have a stronger slug, you have a mess on your shoe!"
This paraphrased quote has stuck in my head for the past two years and I strive to apply this in my marriage and relationships daily. Sure, it can be the easy way out to "step on" your spouse, friend, or parent/sibling because of something they have done that negatively affects you as well; but is this the kind of support you need when you make a bad decision? No. When you mess up you know what you've done, and you know it affects your loved ones too. The best thing you can do is apologize for it and strive to do better next time, right? If you are being stepped on do you really feel like they "deserve" an apology? No. Therefore you should strive not to "step on" them when they mess up, too. What's that old saying... "An eye for an eye...."
The best things that these books have taught me are the differences we see in our spouses, friends or family in comparison to ourselves are normal. These books have helped me to understand why they act and react the way they do, which for the longest time before gaining this insight was nothing but frustrating to me. Not only do these books answer why they act this way, but they also provide insight into how you learn to deal and cater to the other person most effectively.
I have some friendships that are just "there." I call these people my friends, but don't necessarily have or work on having a relationship with them. Some I even feel like its a one-way street, you know what I mean if you have someone who just seems to pop in when they are in need of something; be it support, guidance, or an ear/shoulder. This is all well and good if they are a true friend who supports and believes in you; but its when you catch them "chittering" behind your back to others that you begin to question the relationships true value to you. Then I have friendships, some of them ladies I have met in the past two years; who would do anything for me. They will stand up for me and some would perhaps even take a bullet. Perhaps you have relationships like both of these kinds. What I have learned is that we cannot waste our time with and for people who are not willing to love, support and believe in us. There are enough critics we will face in this world without fostering a "friendship" with one. "Love 'em where they're at" and move on.
Families have a funny dynamic, or so I've learned. Parents usually are always very loving, supporting and belief-filled in their children - we are blessed this way. Most siblings offer the same level of love, support and belief as well. Calvin, my younger brother, has always been a prime example of a sibling filled with belief. On his belief alone I am sure I could conquer the world; he has the same belief in Matt; another blessing we experience. I have found it hard over the years when family members question things I pursue. Perhaps you have had the same experiences. Everyone will say they have your best interest at heart, and I am sure most do most of the time. It doesn't make it any easier to handle the words being said about you; so the best we can do it also "love 'em where they're at" and move on.
Understanding the personalities from Personality Plus has been helpful in this area as well. Not everyone is motivated to achieve and become better, and this doesn't make them a bad person. Everyone is entitled to their own beliefs. I pray that you are blessed enough to be surrounded by loving, supporting and believing family and friends. I hope that you will have the strength to let go of the relationships in your life that are pulling you down; not for selfish reasons, simply because the negativity is unhealthy.
Know that along your journey through this life that you will have cheerleaders and critics. But in the end it doesn't matter; what matters most is your personal choice to learn, grow and love throughout it all. Believe in yourself and do your best. Afterall, "The journey is the reward." - tao saying.
Keep Dreaming,
M
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
Encouragement - Medicine for the Heart & Soul (Relationship Series)
"Flatter me, and I may not believe you. Criticize me, and I may not like you. Ignore me, and I may not forgive you. Encourage me, and I will not forget you." - William Arthur Ward
I have chosen the next post for this series on relationships to be on Encouragement. This ties well into the second point given in my last post - choose not to complain - uplift.
The word "encourage" means to inspire with courage, spirit or confidence. Other words to describe "encourage" could be: approval, assistance, promote, urge, support, hearten and reassure to name a few. The word's history dates back to the 15th century with EN being to "make/put in" then CORAGE being "courage" as known today: the quality of mind/spirit that enables a person to face difficulty, danger or pain without fear; also known as bravery. (dictionary.com) So when torn apart as such and then pieced back together encourage essentially means to help someone become brave through your belief in them.
Can you think of a better person to encourage than your spouse/significant other? Hint: you should not have another suggestion, for if you do, perhaps this is the very reason your relationship may not be all you want it to be. I have recently heard a couple speakers, over the past holiday season, state that to be happy is to give happy to others. Have you ever noticed the feeling you get when you give someone an awesome gift and they love it so much? Notice how you are happier in those moments than you could be with any gift you receive. Well, as Florence Littauer states so perfectly, our words should be like little silver boxes with bows on top - being used only to edify, uplift and encourage; and never to put down others.
I am very blessed and fortunate to have a very encouraging husband (Matt). I know that he believes in me, loves me for who I am and accepts me even when I make mistakes. Mistakes, when you are married no longer become "your" mistakes, or shouldn't be viewed as such. When one fails the other should go down gracefully and uplift and encourage you both back up. The one who failed knows they have failed, they aren't stupid; so why kick them while they are down, because that only brings the entire relationship down with the failure. Instead by encouraging through the tough time you can assure your mate that it really doesn't matter what happened, you vowed to be there with and for them through it all - afterall, life IS the journey. Matt is amazing at this. I however, not so much; I'm still learning and growing.
"A word of encouragement during a failure is worth more than an hour of praise after success." - Unknown.
I have learned a few lessons in our two years of marriage so far; after attending seminars on leadership and personal development, reading multiple books, listening to audios and most importantly associating with ladies who have strong relationships with their husbands. Through some of this experience I have developed my own four step process to learning to becoming more encouraging towards your spouse. As I have stated previously, I write these blogs in an effort to teach myself along the way; so I can assure you, you are not alone on this journey!
Step 1. Say Nothing Negative. We were given two ears and one mouth. Now you may have always wondered why, so here it is: Use them in that proportion! This is probably one of the most valuable things I have learned. As I stated in my last blog, say only a small portion of the things you think, especially if you are unsure if they are positive or negative! Do not say anything negative to your mate, or about your mate; either to them or to others. Every negative thing you say to your mate cancels about about 10 to 20 positive things you have previously said. So its your choice, you can say what you think and create work for yourself or you can "shut it" and truck along to higher grounds in the relationship field!
Step 2. Find Good. You married (or started dating) this person for a reason, likely quite a few really; especially considering you plan to spend the rest of your life with them. So there ARE some really great reasons you chose your mate; dive into your memory and heart and dig up those things. Remind your spouse of them regularly. Most importantly, do not wait for them to do something spectacular to praise and encourage them, find good in everyday things; ignore the bad (read Whale Done for encouragement on this!). Make your spouse feel you value and appreciate their work. But remember, it has to be genuine and sincere; for as the quote above states flattery is not believable. Try to identify great character qualities your spouse has as well as speaking highly of his/her deeds. I agree that sometimes it can be hard to think of things off the top of your head, or in the spur of the moment, etc. So here are some examples of the character qualities I value, respect and love in my husband (Matt). There are many, but here are a few that come to mind right away.
Matt is honest, loyal and devoted to himself, to me and to everyone. I respect his strength and persistence along with his vision and virtue. He is selfless, thoughtful and very intelligent. Matt has a very analytical mind and has an immense amount of patience that everyone should learn from! I respect his faith in himself, in me, in others and in knowing we are placed here to fulfill a bigger purpose. There are so many more reason I love and respect this man; I hope this helped to inspire you to find and remember all the amazing character qualities your spouse has, too!
Step 3. Edify in Public. Our society has become very corrupt in this area, and all for the means of a bit of entertainment (if you want to call it that). TV shows all portray relationships almost as living jokes. The wife makes fun of the husband in front of family and friends, etc. The husband talks low of the wife. Vicious circle spiraling into divorce. This is programming our minds to act the same way in our own relationships. My point here is we need to actively aspire to edify, uplift, speak well of, and encourage our mate to others. Not in a sense of bragging, but just speak the truth when the moment presents itself - whether your mate is present during the conversation or not you are making a lasting affect on your relationship. Believe what you say and say what you believe; what's more important to you anyways? A long, loving and lasting relationship with your spouse or 1-2 minutes of laughter from others at your spouse's expense - which creates even more damage in your relationship. Think long and hard the next time you want to tell that "funny story" about your spouse. Is it something you would enjoy them sharing about you in public?
"I can live for two months on a good compliment." - Mark Twain
Step 4. Continuous Learning & Growth. This one will take a bit more effort and searching on your part. Choose to read books that will lay a good foundation in your mind for a healthy relationship. Yes, I agree walking into Chapters or any other book store can be overwhelming when you have no idea where to start; so seek someone on the same or similar journey as you and ask for book recommendations. Any fool can write a book, and most do. But why would you take relationship advice from someone who has been divorced? Nothing against divorce, I understand in a very small number of circumstances it may be necessary, however its hogwash to think that the current 50%+ divorce rate is all necessary circumstances. So seek from someone with whom you would like to aspire to become more like. A few great books to start with include: 5 Love Languages, Personality Plus, Love & Respect, For Women Only, For Men Only, and a classic How to Win Friends and Influence People.
Your marriage or relationship is all that you have made it, so far. Yes perhaps your mate hasn't been contributing as much as he/she should be either. But you have two choices (you are an adult FYI); choose to start creating a more positive you by only speaking words of encouragement to your spouse; or continue with what you are doing and perhaps end up a statistic. I assure you once you start to encourage your spouse more regularly you will see a difference in your relationship; not overnight granted - all change takes time. So all the best for your journey, I am here for you!
Keep Dreaming,
M
I have chosen the next post for this series on relationships to be on Encouragement. This ties well into the second point given in my last post - choose not to complain - uplift.
The word "encourage" means to inspire with courage, spirit or confidence. Other words to describe "encourage" could be: approval, assistance, promote, urge, support, hearten and reassure to name a few. The word's history dates back to the 15th century with EN being to "make/put in" then CORAGE being "courage" as known today: the quality of mind/spirit that enables a person to face difficulty, danger or pain without fear; also known as bravery. (dictionary.com) So when torn apart as such and then pieced back together encourage essentially means to help someone become brave through your belief in them.
Can you think of a better person to encourage than your spouse/significant other? Hint: you should not have another suggestion, for if you do, perhaps this is the very reason your relationship may not be all you want it to be. I have recently heard a couple speakers, over the past holiday season, state that to be happy is to give happy to others. Have you ever noticed the feeling you get when you give someone an awesome gift and they love it so much? Notice how you are happier in those moments than you could be with any gift you receive. Well, as Florence Littauer states so perfectly, our words should be like little silver boxes with bows on top - being used only to edify, uplift and encourage; and never to put down others.
I am very blessed and fortunate to have a very encouraging husband (Matt). I know that he believes in me, loves me for who I am and accepts me even when I make mistakes. Mistakes, when you are married no longer become "your" mistakes, or shouldn't be viewed as such. When one fails the other should go down gracefully and uplift and encourage you both back up. The one who failed knows they have failed, they aren't stupid; so why kick them while they are down, because that only brings the entire relationship down with the failure. Instead by encouraging through the tough time you can assure your mate that it really doesn't matter what happened, you vowed to be there with and for them through it all - afterall, life IS the journey. Matt is amazing at this. I however, not so much; I'm still learning and growing.
"A word of encouragement during a failure is worth more than an hour of praise after success." - Unknown.
I have learned a few lessons in our two years of marriage so far; after attending seminars on leadership and personal development, reading multiple books, listening to audios and most importantly associating with ladies who have strong relationships with their husbands. Through some of this experience I have developed my own four step process to learning to becoming more encouraging towards your spouse. As I have stated previously, I write these blogs in an effort to teach myself along the way; so I can assure you, you are not alone on this journey!
Step 1. Say Nothing Negative. We were given two ears and one mouth. Now you may have always wondered why, so here it is: Use them in that proportion! This is probably one of the most valuable things I have learned. As I stated in my last blog, say only a small portion of the things you think, especially if you are unsure if they are positive or negative! Do not say anything negative to your mate, or about your mate; either to them or to others. Every negative thing you say to your mate cancels about about 10 to 20 positive things you have previously said. So its your choice, you can say what you think and create work for yourself or you can "shut it" and truck along to higher grounds in the relationship field!
Step 2. Find Good. You married (or started dating) this person for a reason, likely quite a few really; especially considering you plan to spend the rest of your life with them. So there ARE some really great reasons you chose your mate; dive into your memory and heart and dig up those things. Remind your spouse of them regularly. Most importantly, do not wait for them to do something spectacular to praise and encourage them, find good in everyday things; ignore the bad (read Whale Done for encouragement on this!). Make your spouse feel you value and appreciate their work. But remember, it has to be genuine and sincere; for as the quote above states flattery is not believable. Try to identify great character qualities your spouse has as well as speaking highly of his/her deeds. I agree that sometimes it can be hard to think of things off the top of your head, or in the spur of the moment, etc. So here are some examples of the character qualities I value, respect and love in my husband (Matt). There are many, but here are a few that come to mind right away.
Matt is honest, loyal and devoted to himself, to me and to everyone. I respect his strength and persistence along with his vision and virtue. He is selfless, thoughtful and very intelligent. Matt has a very analytical mind and has an immense amount of patience that everyone should learn from! I respect his faith in himself, in me, in others and in knowing we are placed here to fulfill a bigger purpose. There are so many more reason I love and respect this man; I hope this helped to inspire you to find and remember all the amazing character qualities your spouse has, too!
Step 3. Edify in Public. Our society has become very corrupt in this area, and all for the means of a bit of entertainment (if you want to call it that). TV shows all portray relationships almost as living jokes. The wife makes fun of the husband in front of family and friends, etc. The husband talks low of the wife. Vicious circle spiraling into divorce. This is programming our minds to act the same way in our own relationships. My point here is we need to actively aspire to edify, uplift, speak well of, and encourage our mate to others. Not in a sense of bragging, but just speak the truth when the moment presents itself - whether your mate is present during the conversation or not you are making a lasting affect on your relationship. Believe what you say and say what you believe; what's more important to you anyways? A long, loving and lasting relationship with your spouse or 1-2 minutes of laughter from others at your spouse's expense - which creates even more damage in your relationship. Think long and hard the next time you want to tell that "funny story" about your spouse. Is it something you would enjoy them sharing about you in public?
"I can live for two months on a good compliment." - Mark Twain
Step 4. Continuous Learning & Growth. This one will take a bit more effort and searching on your part. Choose to read books that will lay a good foundation in your mind for a healthy relationship. Yes, I agree walking into Chapters or any other book store can be overwhelming when you have no idea where to start; so seek someone on the same or similar journey as you and ask for book recommendations. Any fool can write a book, and most do. But why would you take relationship advice from someone who has been divorced? Nothing against divorce, I understand in a very small number of circumstances it may be necessary, however its hogwash to think that the current 50%+ divorce rate is all necessary circumstances. So seek from someone with whom you would like to aspire to become more like. A few great books to start with include: 5 Love Languages, Personality Plus, Love & Respect, For Women Only, For Men Only, and a classic How to Win Friends and Influence People.
Your marriage or relationship is all that you have made it, so far. Yes perhaps your mate hasn't been contributing as much as he/she should be either. But you have two choices (you are an adult FYI); choose to start creating a more positive you by only speaking words of encouragement to your spouse; or continue with what you are doing and perhaps end up a statistic. I assure you once you start to encourage your spouse more regularly you will see a difference in your relationship; not overnight granted - all change takes time. So all the best for your journey, I am here for you!
Keep Dreaming,
M
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Be a Thermostat - A Series on Relationships
Relationships are all around us. We all have relationships with someone; be it spouse, parents, siblings, friends, business partners, co-workers, or even pets. Relationships are one of the keys to life. Just because you have a relationship, now, doesn't mean its a good one; and that is exactly what my next few blogs will focus on. IMPROVING relationships; I have come nowhere close to arriving; so am learning along with you and just hope to impart something that may help you in your journey. I will speak mostly to marriage, solely because I feel it is one of the most important and impactful relationships we will have in our lives. Also I think it is the relationship in society in need of the most work and improving (50%+ divorce rate?!).
Throughout the next few blogs I plan to cover some of the following areas of relationships: Attitude, 5 Love Languages, Encouragement, Love & Respect, and Personalities.
Today I am starting with Attitude. There are a few books I would like to mention/recommend if you are interested: The Difference Maker by John Maxwell and Attitude is Everything by Jeff Keller. In our marriages (this applies even if you aren't married but are perhaps in a long-time relationship or engaged or ever plan to be married!) we need to be a thermostat, not a thermometer. Hmm... funny concept isn't it? What I mean is that we need to choose to have a good attitude and set the attitude "temperature" for our homes. If your spouse walks in the door from a long, tiring and perhaps miserable day at work and you greet them with all the bad things that happened to you throughout the day you are not doing your job as a thermostat. Think for a second; a thermostat sets the temperature of the room and we have the choice of what temperature we want the room to be.
There are a few keys principles to implement in order to change your attitude to a positive one; therefore improving your marriage/relationship. Count your blessings - be thankful; choose not to complain - uplift; talk to yourself instead of listening to yourself - what you focus on expands.
"The secret to happiness is to count your blessings while others are adding up their troubles." - William Penn
I love this quote and feel it speaks loudly to the importance of positive thinking. When positive thinking occupies your mind there is no room for the negative - your attitude automatically is more positive. I encourage you to write a list of the ten things you are most thankful for in your spouse and then also in your entire life. Place this somewhere you will see it regularly to remind yourself when you are having a bad day that you have too many things to be thankful for to waste your time down in the dumps.
"You have two ears and one mouth - use them in proportion!" I often repeat this to myself when frustrated! I have a strong personality and am easily riled up so have had to learn to control my words in order to control my attitude. Perhaps by implementing this in your relationship you will create a more positive atmosphere where a stronger relationship can flourish. Now, on really bad days I strongly recommend saying one in 10 things you think. This works well because odds are VERY good that the other nine were not positive, encouraging or inspiring to anyone, including yourself! By choosing not to complain you are developing a unique habit of strength. It takes only 21 days to create a habit, why not start today?
This leads into the importance of talking to yourself instead of listening to your self (as my husband, Matt, always says and promotes!). Although when you first read this line it may sound a little silly; when you know the facts and reasoning behind it you will soon agree! Our conscious mind works on about 2000 neurons and our subconscious mind works on 4 billion neurons; see the significance in our subconscious!? So if you program your subconscious with positive thoughts it will promote positive outcomes in your attitude. This happens because our subconscious is unable to determine what is real and what we are just programming to become real. We all have those two little people inside our heads (you know, the angel & devil of cartoons - one on each shoulder). It is our choice to listen and believe the much quieter positive fellow, in time the positive will become louder than the negative.
By implementing these three small principles into your life you will start to see small improvements in your relationships. Now, remember change does not happen overnight; therefore you will have good and bad days on this journey to better your relationships. The important thing is to keep your eyes on the prize and persist through the bad days.
Keep Dreaming,
M
Saturday, December 31, 2011
Resolutions - How to Keep Them into February, May, July and Beyond!
We all know someone like this. If you don't..... it could be you.
This is the time of year when everyone chooses to press the "refresh" button. We all make our resolutions for what this new year will bring us, how we will change our lives for the better, and in what areas we will grow. It is the one time of year that the majority of society will admit they have to change something AND work out a plan to make it happen. Step 3 however is to follow the plan - for more than just January!
This year I am excited for a the new year. I have resolved to become a better me; be it wife, friend, new mom, business woman, etc. What are you going to do? Don't get me wrong, I will also make the same 95%er resolutions the rest of society makes as well; to eat healthier and be more active, be frugal, get out of debt, enjoy life more, learn something new, etc. I also resolve to KEEP them.
Resolutions are fine and dandy; great even! The proof (and truth) is in the pudding - and the pudding here is our plans to make our resolutions happen and our ability to discipline ourselves to follow through with the plans. A resolution is defined as a determination. A determination is defined as a decision. And, although a decision does not necessarily have to be set in stone being determined about your decision should essentially make it set in stone, one would think. So why do we buy the gym pass, go for a month, and then forget we even bought it?
Change does not happen overnight (whether in a single person, family or an entire business), anyone who thinks it does has never really changed. Change is a process, in this case of improvement; it is the creating of a new habit. Creating a new habit is just as hard as outing a old/bad habit. SO all you who are thinking that the world doesn't know what it feels like to try to quit smoking if they aren't smokers themselves (example), think again. Creating a new good habit is just as hard.
Research has proven that creating or breaking a habit takes 21 consistent days. Not an eternity, just 3 measly weeks! The important part here is to remember the difference between your subconscious and conscious mind. Your subconscious mind is extraordinarily powerful when programmed properly. Your conscious mind is the one telling you how painful this is going to be and how you will never make it. So, my friends, as my husband Matt loves to quote "we have to stop listening to ourselves and start talking to ourselves." Do you REALLY want to lose that weight, run that marathon, quit smoking, become a better spouse, etc? Really? Then all we must do is tell ourselves it is only 21 days, that's nothing, no biggy, sinche, easy-peasy. Take a calendar, do a countdown, cross the days off. By the time you hit day 21 you will realize consciously it isn't that hard and subsciously the importance of continuing.
The next important thing to be doing during this resolution season - 21 day commitment to change and betterment - is to be using imagery to program your powerful subconscious. Find a few pictures that can portray the person you will be, the old habit you will have kicked, or the new habit you will have achieved and keep this infront of you. Perhaps in your wallet, on your bathroom mirror, on your bulletin board, on your fridge, you choose; but choose a place where you will be certain to see it everyday. Your subconscious sees this picture and believes it is reality then setting you out to do whatever it takes to achieve this.
Finally, we go back to good ole association. "If you hang around with bank robbers, odds are you will drive the get-away car." So, my goodness, what would happen if you choose in 2012 to hang around with people who have success and are working towards more success?! And by "success" I do not mean solely money. Money doesn't buy happiness in your marriage, money can't buy you true friends, money doesn't make you skinnier itself, money doesn't give you more believe in yourself or a higher power. Money is a tool. I mean in any of the 8F areas of your life - family, friends, finances, fitness, faith, freedom, fun, and following (LIFE, 2011).
So this year I will make resolutions along with the rest of society, I will work harder than ever to keep them, I will focus on 21 days, I will place pictures, quotes and phrases everywhere (so if you visit me at home don't ask, because now you know) and perhaps most importantly, I will continue to associate with people who are choosing to better their lives, as well.
What will you do in 2012?
Keep Dreaming,
M
Friday, November 11, 2011
Freedom - 2011-11
What does freedom mean to you?
I managed to capture a very unique moment in time today, Remembrance Day. 2011-11-11 at 11:11am for a Remembrance Day service. Everyone gathered to share in a common purpose; gratitude for the freedom that was fought for.
Perhaps today (November 11, 2011) might be the perfect day to think about your freedom, the freedom in your family, your life, your community, your country and the world. What have you done to fight for freedom?
Fighting for freedom can be done in many senses; from physical warfare in other countries, as we remembered today, to personal change and growth to become a better person and leader in turn influencing your family, into your community, into your province, into your country and in the world. It is time we step up.
Today we attended a Remembrance Day service, something that was said stuck with me. They talked about the young men and women who really were unaware of what they were getting themselves into and having the courage to step forth dream a bigger dream, fight for a better land and a safer home. It takes true courage and persistence to do this; imagine the dream that lay in the hearts of the many soldiers to have gone through what they did.
Recently, at the launch of the LIFE business in Columbus Ohio, I had the distinct pleasure of hearing from author, speaker and educator Oliver DeMille. I was excited because of the many great things everyone was saying, however in all honesty I was a little apprehensive that he would speak to "me." I was gladly surprised when I was completely captivated and engulfed in his entire talk. He explained to us that a world shift takes place about every century and the last once started in 1913. So a world shift is in the making right now. You may be reading and wondering why any of this is relevant to Remembrance Day. Well, there are two kinds of world shifts, a freedom shift or a force shift. Clearly our countries need a freedom shift. All freedom must be fought for. "Nothing worth having comes without some kind of fight; you've got to kick at the darkness until it bleeds daylight."
Perhaps you have family who fought for our freedom or are currently fighting; and today we remembered. I am thankful to these many brave men and women. I also feel that it is time for each one of us to step up personally and do what we can to have this next world shift sway to freedom. Don't let what these men and women fought for get flushed because you do not want to miss your Thursday night TV line-up. Take a stand, read a book, change and grow personally - strive to become better and fight for freedom, one life at a time!
Keep Dreaming,
M
Sunday, October 30, 2011
Explore. Dream. Discover.
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbour. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."
-- MARK TWAIN
It can be easy to get caught in the rat race these days. "Go to school, get good grades, keep your nose clean, get a good job with benefits and they will take care of you." Ever heard that?! Yup, me too. And with all do respect to our teachers, parents, coaches, and other elders; they knew what they were talking about... when we were in the Industrial Age. However, my friends, we have entered the Information Age. Yes, remember your first computer? Remember dial up internet? Remember your childhood email addresses, which yes we all still have but refuse to repeat outloud when someone asks. Remember when someone said hey have you heard of Facebook? And then you created your account. That was all the beginning of the Information Age. Where no longer can you count on your university degree getting you the big job you were "dreaming of." Now perhaps this paragraph was mostly babbling on my part, or perhaps you have learned a thing or two about the Ages.
Now back to that rat race... Mondays are the worst right?! Start of a new week, a full 5 more days before the next weekend, ugh. Tuesdays, well could be better. Wednesday, now here we go "hump day" we're at the top of the hump and its all down hill the rest of the week. Thursdays arent so bad because *sniff sniff* smells like Friday. And Friday, well how could it get better than to work in your favourite jeans!? Saturday is perfect because it belongs solely to you and no one else; get up when you're done sleeping, eat when you're hungry, wear flip flops, slippers or anything you want on your feet, freedom at last. Then comes Sunday morning, which isnt so bad, but Sunday night brings cold sweats, shakes and nausea all around. Because, yup tomorrow's Monday. And the rat race continues. "The problem with being in the rat race is, even if you win you're still a rat!" (Joce Dionne)
But what if? What if there was something more? What if you could work harder now, run for your goals and dreams; pay now and play later? Would you give yourself a chance? What if? And if you found that, why wouldn't you at least give it the "good ole college try?" I mean you'd be crazy not to, right? So why not?
Everyday people become another day, week, month and year older, and sweep another dream under the rug. Perhaps it was vacationing every year and being able to take friends of family with you. Perhaps buying a big ticket item for someone you've always loved and appreciated. Perhaps its secretly buying Christmas for a dozen needy families... anomously. Perhaps its just being out of debt, head above water and breathing comfortable in your finances. I can't tell you what you have shoved under a rug, and maybe you dont think you can either. But I can tell you to start sorting through those dust bunnies, hair balls and bread crumbs under that rug and pull those dreams back out one at a time. Put them infront of you and picture yourself in them. Whats the worst that can happen? You dont get them perfectly, because you didnt put an honest effort in? Well hate to break it, but our subconscious minds are powerful enough to remember them deep down and create everlasting regrets for at least not trying.
So, said best by Mark Twain above, "throw off the bowlines" and sail. Dream big, believe in something worth believing - no better place to start than YOU!
Keep Dreaming,
M
Friday, July 22, 2011
Attitude of Gratitude: Create a Ripple
“We often take for granted the very things that most deserve our gratitude.”
~ Cynthia Ozic
There are times in this life when we have to be tougher than we think we know how to be. Perhaps for you it is facing one of your largest fears; perhaps it is a promotion, or being overwhelmed with your work, maybe it is an illness - either yourself or a loved one, or maybe you are financially strapped. Regardless of our troubling times we must always try to remember the importance of hope.
It has been said we can live 3 months without companionship or love, 3 weeks without food, 3 days without water, 3 hours without shelter (in extreme conditions), 3 minutes without air, but only 3 seconds without HOPE. "Hope is what faith is made of" (Claude Hamilton), so we truly have to strive to keep hope in our hearts at all times. We need to count our blessings each day, look at the life we are living, the loved ones around us (near or far - "around" with loved ones means the distance in our hearts only), the food in our tummy, and the opportunities we are presented with each day. Chances are good that if you are reading this, you have more to be thankful for than you realize, by times. I am not trying to be rude or tough-hearted, don't get me wrong. I, personally, find a good "slap up-side the head" in thankfulness can really bring me up and out of the dumpy hole I can tend to dig myself into.
Having hope and being thankful for what we have in troubling times, does not mean we overlook what is happening that was/is troubling in the first place. However, the hope and thankfulness gives us a different outlook and attitude towards the situation. Attitudes are contagious (just like yawns), be it positive or negative, they can spread like wildfire. If we can choose to not dwell on the negative in a troubling time, we can give and spread hope to everyone around us by having a positive attitude - leading back to being thankful for what we do have and knowing (pending your own personal beliefs) that there is a higher power that knows a bit more and is making the best decisions for the situation. I am not trying to tell you what/how/who to believe - I just hope you know why you believe what you believe.
HOPE is defined as the belief in a positive outcome related to events and circumstances in one's life. This is a jammed-pack definition of so many things that can be expanded on, but one specific word jumps out to me personally: belief. Belief gets us through our days. Maybe its believing in our goals and dreams and having something to run and strive for, maybe its belief in a better tomorrow if our today isn't quite right, maybe its belief in a higher power in a time of turmoil or struggle; the strongest is belief in ourselves. Belief in ourselves will get us closer to our goals and dreams; belief in ourselves will get us through the today to get to the tomorrow; belief in ourselves will give us courage, faith and strength in the times of struggle.
One of the most powerful gifts we can give others is the gift of belief. Giving belief is giving a hand-up out of the struggle instead of giving a hand-out. Perhaps there are times when a hand-out may seem like the right thing, when really a hand-up will be much more powerful long-term. The hand-out is a one shot deal providing no long-term affect on the person's life and can sometimes even hinder their situation even more. A hand-up is a learning opportunity, a chance to build for a brighter tomorrow, not just a not-so-dark-today (that a hand-out gives).
Giving belief to others starts within us. We must first have belief in ourselves. This belief in ourselves gives us a positive attitude automatically, the positive attitude is contagious, giving others hope. By giving that little piece of hope we have no idea how much we can change a person's life.
We all want to have an impact on this world we live in, live a life of significance and leave a legacy for future generations. I think this poem is a great way to sum it all up.
_______
I Wanted To Change The World
When I was young, I wanted to change the world.
I found it was difficult to change the world, so I tried to change my nation.
When I found I couldn't change the nation, I began to focus on my town. I couldn't change the town and as an older man/woman, I tried to change my family.
Now, as an old man/woman, I realize the only thing I can change is myself, and suddenly I realize that if long ago I had changed myself, I could have made an impact on my family. My family and I could have made an impact on our town. Their impact could have changed the nation and I could indeed have changed the world.
______
Focus on changing from within; start with having a little hope and belief in yourself. Who knows what kind of an impact and ripple effect you will create. What if? and Why not?
Dream Big,
M
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Freedom Is Sacred - Learn & Grow
"Lack of discipline always leads to slavery" ~ Claude Hamilton
Freedom means a lot of different things to a lot of different people; however uniquely represents an overall feeling amongst all these "things." I have heard a few talks in the past year or so, from some very successfully free leaders, that have opened my eyes to what true freedom represents. This quote above says it best.
Lacking discipline will lead to slavery in every example; whether it is in something small or huge. For example, if we do not eat right and exercise (lack of discipline in our health), it won't necessarily lead to slavery right away, but soon, we will become unhealthy to a point where we can't eat the variety of foods we once could, then sick and even more limited on our food choices, then perhaps hospitalized where we are told what we can and cannot eat (slavery in a sense). All because our lack of discipline when it was a slight edge decision, we wind up hospitalized with some illness that leaves us vulnerable and without freedom any longer.
The old/common saying "ignorance is bliss" is interesting; ignorance is NOT bliss, it may seem like bliss to those who want to avoid taking responsibility, but he key word there is "seem." So to further that, "everything is not as it seems," therefore ignorance truly is not bliss, because it is not as it seems. I rest my case (but for those of you confused, I will give you some background for proof and clarification). The root of freedom is responsibility and maturity; immaturity in a sense, is ignorance. Ignorance is lacking knowledge or information and also not learning. Immaturity is defined as: not fully grown or lacking wisdom. Responsibility is being accountable, competent and capable - all of which require knowledge, information and wisdom. Responsibility takes discipline, as it can not always be easy to make the right decisions.
Wrapping this all back around in a circle, now that everything is at least semi-defined, proves that: 1) Ignorance is not bliss, 2) In order to achieve a level of freedom in anything, we have to grow, learn and mature through discipline into a person who actively takes responsibility, and 3) Anyone can do this - yes even you.
What would your Freedom Day look like to you? Would you have lost the weight that is weighing, not just on your body, but on your heart and mind as well (pun intended). Would it be your last day of work, because you are now able to be a stay-at-home-wife/mom? Would it be the moment/day you pay off your last piece of debt? What is it for you? I truly challenge you to write this out in great detail, or at least think about it. If you write it out and read it 2-3 times daily, I can almost assure you that you will achieve it. Although hard work is half the battle, persistence and visualizing your dream is the very important other half (if not more).
Tomorrow, I have the privilege and unique opportunity to share and experience a good friend's Freedom Day. I know it will be very emotional, exciting and exhilarating. But I look forward to every single moment and know that it is helping to build a dream inside me as well.
Keep Dreaming,
M
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